What are you trying to prove?

Think about it. Even if your initial answer was 'no', is that truthful?

I spent some time on the subway yesterday, which of course is the prime place for people watching. So what is it about our wardrobes that we are trying to communicate to others? Is the ipod in our ears merely for our entertainment, or is it proving to people the luxuries I can afford? If I wear skinny jeans, or scarves, or many brightly colored necklaces, or shoes with my laces strategically untied, am I presenting myself or an image of something I want other people to interpret? On a somewhat related note, why do we sexualize everything?!?

What about in conversation. Everyone can smell a hypocrite a mile a way, and the Church being labeled the number one culprit in pop culture today, the odds can't be that good on a Seminary campus, especially since the stakes are a bit higher in the 'practice what you preach' category.

So who are we? What do we try to prove to other people about our identity by the things we wear, the words we say, and the people we claim to be? And how well do we know ourselves - do we listen to the pressures of society (whoever they may be) telling us who we should try to be?

Personally, I am refreshed that in my religion, in my tradition, and in my heart I have a savior who asks me to identify first in Him, and the rest will fall into place. Not easily, and not without the temptation to define who I am on my own. But at least I know that when I totally screw it up, someone already knows exactly who I am.

Truly this time, I went further up and further in!

From the outside (channeling Lennon)To the Inside!

Through the windows of the crown!

Oh yes, we made it to the top.

Statue of Liberty. I am proud because we bought our tickets in June, and now they are sold out through December. WHAT A COOL DAY. This plus Ellis Island, AND knowing that I am fully capable of riding the public transit of NYC all by myself. WITH shortcuts/express trains. Whoop whoop!

And now classes have begun, and I'm learning why co-moderating two student groups isn't always such a hot idea, but at the same time why it's kind of neat - sometimes there's overlap b/t justice and worship. Who woulda thunk it.

Amazing grace I feel you coming up slowly now ...

It's amazing what simply going to church can do. I'm not saying being a church goer is a quick fix for the problems of the world, or that a sermon will solve whatever ails you, but rather that there is something about a sanctuary and a community of believers that puts my heart at ease. I went to the 5 o'clock on Sunday, feeling all that anxiety and worry from my previous post, along with that awkward who am I going to sit with tonight? that begins in the parking lot and lasts as you pass through the double doors of the room itself. But taking my seat in a pew, on my own, there was a sense of refreshment. Singing with the congregation my mind left behind my worries, and I took some time to dwell a little longer in God's faithfulness.

I often hear the message that is so eloquently stated by Jesus in Matthew 11:28, saying:

²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I'll hear that and I'll say to myself, what a great reminder. That Jesus will give us rest. But how is that put into action in my life? How often do I choose to take up His yoke, rather than providing my own - rusty and crooked as it is? On Sunday I stood and pondered this - What does it mean for us to lean and depend on Christ? And to me, it first means that I don't depend on myself. That is a scary yet freeing thing to do. To not depend on myself - I know what I'm capable of, I know how I handle things, I know what happens when I am in control. But what growth comes out of my smothering things to make them just as I want them to be?

Now, I also know what it is to depend on God, and it has so much better and fuller of a reward than I could ever make for myself. These responsibilities and positions I'll have this year are not my obligations so much as they are my opportunities to participate in what God is already doing. What a relief. THIS I can rest in. God's kingdom in the world isn't dependent on me holding up all the corners. God is big enough to bring it all together.

Oh boy, just another day, learning from the Teacher.