Why.

I haven't updated here in a while, and I've been considering why.

This place exists so that I can update people about what is going on in my life - but I'd much rather be telling them, talking with them, having coffee with them, writing letters to them, than posting general information about my life and various obscurities. In that way, how personal do these even get? To think that I am in some way connected with the people who read this is feeding a lie. It is the same with facebook and networking sites that allow us some confirmation that we are connected with the people of the world, when we're most likely sitting alone, possibly in a crowded place but still alone, reading about them and not talking with them. It's such a backwards response to our desire for community and inclusion.

I also am apprehensive to write because I don't know what the appropriate limits to sharing are. I'm very tempted to simply post quotes or meaningful messages from classes I'm taking, rather than share personal stories and ponderings, because those are me, and this is not how you get to know me. I often think about what it would be like to be a songwriter, novelist or poet - but that seems very vulnerable to me, and it's no wonder Keats died so young.

Well, thoughts, once again, publicly posted. About public postings. OH well. I don't know when I'll update this next - in case you are genuinely interested in my goings on, I am LOVING seminary, and it is probably a good sign that I am apprehensive about this public domain thing, because my focus is turned towards the communities that I am a part of, not the virtual ones.

I will leave you with a recent favorite song, though. My God My Father Blissful Name, by Indelible Grace:

My God, my Father, blissful name
Oh may I call Thee mine?
May I with sweet assurance claim
A portion so divine?
This only can my fears control
And bid my sorrows fly;
What harm can ever reach my soul
Beneath my Father’s eye?

Whate’er Thy providence denies
I calmly would resign
For Thou art just, and good, and wise
O bend my will to Thine
Whate’er Thy sacred will ordains
O give me strength to bear;
And let me know my Father reigns
And trust His tender care

If pain and sickness rend this frame
And life almost depart
Is not Thy mercy still the same
To cheer my drooping heart
If cares and sorrows me surround
Their power why should I fear?
My inward peace they cannot wound
If Thou, my God, art near