What about when God DOES answer prayer?!

Hallelujah, Salvation and Glory, Honor and Power unto the Lord, OUR God.

It seems to me that modern theology has taken over prayer. Rather than working from the concept that 'God answers prayer', we now come from the standpoint of 'what do we do when God doesn't answer prayer?'. I recently fell in love with a song by JJ Heller, in which the first words are 'I have unanswered prayers' ... and while I first resonated with the intention, I'm not sure I agree with the conclusion. Do I have unanswered prayers, or are they simply answered in a way I disagree with? Do I see the answers if they aren't where I'm looking for them? God is not as formulaic as we'd all like to believe, and is probably more creative than we give Him credit for. I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for answers with those two pieces in mind. Of course, this probably breaks down around terrible tragedies, when we pray for healing and it doesn't happen. Duly granted. But most of the time my prayers aren't focused on the tragic predicament of an impending death (though perhaps they should be? Hmmm ...).

All this is to say I have had prayers answered. I've heard about miracles from friends' prayers. I believe I've had miracles occur in direct relation to my prayers. I have come to understand that God is a faithful God, but I suppose some may say that is me choosing to appropriate good fortune with divine intervention. Maybe it's something like choosing to believe God is a faithful God, rather than testing my prayers on Him first. I'd rather just call it divine intervention, but whatever.

In any case, I sit here reflecting on answered prayer, primarily because I feel blessed. Overwhelmingly blessed. By my family, by my friends, by my opportunities, by my gifts, by everything in this moment. This does not mean my life is devoid of death, pain, loss, etc. But it means I do, today, choose to remember how good I have it, I choose to recall how God has been faithful, I choose to recognize that this cannot all be due to chance. And, that someone deserves quite a bit of gratitude. In my opinion, there is no way I brought this on myself. So, once again,

Hallelujah, Salvation and Glory, Honor and Power unto the Lord Out God.

I feel like a Mary in a world of Marthas. My studying happens, but I do not pride myself in diligence ... and no one said grad school was going to be easy, but no one said it wouldn't be fun either. So I am making the most of my time. Which also meant a trip to DC to see some WONDERFUL people - we had a dinner that was comprised of about 8 Seattlites (born or colleged there), what are the odds. We also spent time at the Air and Space museum, and saw the Declaration of Independence. I was so thrown by the wonder involved in pondering the universe (what in the what is dark matter...) and pondering the beginnings of our country. History and science, thinking about things too large to comprehend, and considering the movements of humanity in time. Sociology is so important, and yet rotation and revolution help maintain our lives ... I saw a picture of Mercury passing in front of the sun. WOW. Rings of Saturn, holy moly.

What is Chaplain ... reflections of the summer ...

The words 'Chaplain' and 'Church' couldn't be further apart. Yet, they somehow resemble the same thing - spiritual care. The methods and mentality cause the divergence.

To be Chaplain - there is a humbling, and essence of humility that permeates the nature of a good chaplain. Rife with 'I don't know' and 'you're right, it isn't fair', a Chaplain learns to listen. And listen. They sit, not presuming to preach, teach, fix, or problem solve, but listen, and be. Every day the prayer becomes 'give us ears to hear' because there are untouched depths behind tears, voiced fears, angry words, the pacing of anxious feet, and eyes which haven't been dry for days.

And so, patients talk. But we aren't there to hear them talk, we wait until they share. The heart is vulnerable, and becomes honest with trust. We pose no threat, so when that is recognized, truth emerges. Past pain or regret, anger or confusion at times. We are all looking for answers, so what happens when we find out there are no easy answers? Some presume to attempt a solution anyway. I've learned to sit with the questions. Sometimes when we ask, we come to understand the reason for the question a little better. Curiosity met with curiosity allows human to see human. And to be a Chaplain, is hopefully to say 'nice to finally meet you'. It seems that to wear the other face of Church, we sometimes instead say, 'have you met me yet?'

This isn't a hula hoop.

Summer is nearly ended, and I have barely blogged at all. Too much to think about and reflect on, it mostly goes in my journal. I'll try and write a bit more, but for the moment I'd like to revel in the surprise I received this week. But let's back up a bit - as someone who is pursuing ministry within the PC(USA), there are many, many hoops to jump through. Paperwork and interviews, interviews and paperwork. It is all modeled to be a fantastic way to be in conversation with someone asking the question, 'what is my calling in ministry?' and offers a great community appeal. But somewhere along the way it feels more like the circus with this hoop, and now this hoop, and yet another hoop, and then oh, you thought that was the last one? wrong! At least the hoops aren't set on fire ... well, maybe the last one is ...

And so I have been moved from someone asking the questions of myself in ministry, to the formal term of 'inquirer' (still asking the question of me in ministry, just with a fancy official title) and this week, my church has approved my move to candidacy. And while the titles and hoops sound sterile and removed from a personal journey, I cannot express the surprise and encouragement I felt upon fielding questions at the session meeting that moved me forward.

It's just one of those moments that gets you - where you catch a vision of the body of Christ and remember, oh yeah! This IS what it's all about. Elders, nominated from the church body to represent the church body - seeking after what it means to have Christ as the head, and discern the gifts we each bring to the table, and how God desires to use us. I love my church. And this week, I heard affirmation that they love me back. How cool is that?!?

My Life as a Hospital Chaplain.

So far, my job is awesome. Aside from the sleepovers in the hospital where you wake up every hour thinking you're going to get called to be available during a multi-car wreck, it's pretty great. I get to listen to people's stories every day. I get to pray with complete strangers. I get to meet staff and patients and just be present for them. I also get free meals! But most entertainingly, I need to read up about my religious conspiracy theories, and so I have done some googling in order to prepare myself. This site seems to have the answers I need - in the fact that in working with mental health patients I need to know what I might be dealing with. I got the double whammy of Cain being the son of Satan and the UN being the onset of the Anti-Christ in one day ...

If I had the time ...

I would read. I would re-read all my Tolkien. I would read the Silmarillion. I would read read read read ... more Marilynn Robinson, that Douglas Adams sitting on my shelf, the Henri Nouwen I still haven't finished, and pick up some books from that list compiled from friends suggestions that sits in my wallet waiting for that odd afternoon free when I might find myself mysteriously stranded at the Barnes and Noble.

But would I? Because given the time, I'd rather be with friends, catching up or simply hanging out ... when I find free time it's watching movies or making things. I'm doing a psych exam for my ordination requirements, and they always ask those extrovert/introvert questions of 'given an evening, would you rather ... a) be at a party with friends or b) spend time alone reading - SO what happens when you find joy in both? I suppose this is where preference comes in, but then it depends also on the reading, and maybe on the friends (ouch, that's harsh ... ).

Speaking of time, don't know if I'll have it. I suppose I do right now, since I'm sitting here in the blogosphere, but I've recently begun a position as a hospital Chaplain, which means a lot of reflecting after long days. Who knows what's coming for me in the week ahead, but I'm excited to find out. Anyway, this blog feels like it might be making it's demise soon ... I'll try and keep it around for the last year of Seminary that looms it's head in front of me - then who knows!

This time I'm not angry.

First of all, GLORIOUS sunshine means reading books outside.
Okay, now to an update.
I started writing a post a while back in the heat of anger, and it just felt wrong. I was angry with what I felt was a righteous anger ... and it almost felt justifying to have it out over the internet. Almost. In the midst of writing it, it felt wrong - like in just writing it out I was focusing even more on my anger that shouldn't have been fed anyway, and my tunnel vision of righteousness allowed me to vent in public airways. That's not how that should work.

So I'm better now. And even more than that, I'm enlightened. This weekend I was blessed to be a part of a production called 'Space for God', which was a show written by a woman who is doing her PhD here at PTS, and it was absolutely phenomenal. I showed up only knowing the song they asked me to play as a vignette during a set change, and not even knowing what the show was about. But the pieces that she wrote were so stirring! It was basically 3 monologues from the perspective of different women in ministry, but not basically, it was much much more than that. The imagery that was brought to life through the characters, motion, and speech that they shared on the staged - I will be mulling over each piece for days, I'm sure. It is so beautiful to see words come to life in such meaningful ways. And although I like the theater, I've usually found it to be a distraction from life - a nice get-away (although harder/darker pieces mean probably not so nice...) but this had such depth to it, and was so close to home. PTL for the creative work of those around me. It was also a time for me to once again consider where I'd like to go in musician possibilities.

But here also are my recent adventures, since I don't keep up on here often at ALL.
My sis visited!

Trip to the shore! Sunshine and happy people.

Bonhoeffer.

If you haven't read him you should.

However, I think in creating a thesis for the class I'm taking on him, I'm left a bit unsettled. But I suppose any good theologian would leave you that way. I'm left pondering what it means to imitate Christ, and what is identity ... ? Are we what we do? What we say? What we think? What we feel? What part of me is me, and will always be me, and what part of me is transformed by Christ as I try to lose 'self' or turn away from 'flesh' and all that jazz? And what does it mean to take up one's cross? Or bear one another's burdens? And how does this become wholistic and healthy for us and those around us? Riddle me this ... to me, it does shed more light on his poetry.

Well, on to paper writing.

Why.

I haven't updated here in a while, and I've been considering why.

This place exists so that I can update people about what is going on in my life - but I'd much rather be telling them, talking with them, having coffee with them, writing letters to them, than posting general information about my life and various obscurities. In that way, how personal do these even get? To think that I am in some way connected with the people who read this is feeding a lie. It is the same with facebook and networking sites that allow us some confirmation that we are connected with the people of the world, when we're most likely sitting alone, possibly in a crowded place but still alone, reading about them and not talking with them. It's such a backwards response to our desire for community and inclusion.

I also am apprehensive to write because I don't know what the appropriate limits to sharing are. I'm very tempted to simply post quotes or meaningful messages from classes I'm taking, rather than share personal stories and ponderings, because those are me, and this is not how you get to know me. I often think about what it would be like to be a songwriter, novelist or poet - but that seems very vulnerable to me, and it's no wonder Keats died so young.

Well, thoughts, once again, publicly posted. About public postings. OH well. I don't know when I'll update this next - in case you are genuinely interested in my goings on, I am LOVING seminary, and it is probably a good sign that I am apprehensive about this public domain thing, because my focus is turned towards the communities that I am a part of, not the virtual ones.

I will leave you with a recent favorite song, though. My God My Father Blissful Name, by Indelible Grace:

My God, my Father, blissful name
Oh may I call Thee mine?
May I with sweet assurance claim
A portion so divine?
This only can my fears control
And bid my sorrows fly;
What harm can ever reach my soul
Beneath my Father’s eye?

Whate’er Thy providence denies
I calmly would resign
For Thou art just, and good, and wise
O bend my will to Thine
Whate’er Thy sacred will ordains
O give me strength to bear;
And let me know my Father reigns
And trust His tender care

If pain and sickness rend this frame
And life almost depart
Is not Thy mercy still the same
To cheer my drooping heart
If cares and sorrows me surround
Their power why should I fear?
My inward peace they cannot wound
If Thou, my God, art near

It's been so long I don't know where to begin ...

Sometimes I think perhaps twitter would be the better option, because I think about SO many things on public transportation. But this would also mean I would need some device to help me do that and it seems hardly worth the effort, and also rather self-centered ... but then again what is blogging?

So where to begin:
#1. I have not lost my sense of humor. Port-o-potties always make for a good photo op.
#2. So do NY Skylines. From Central Park.
#3. Halloween in 2-parts: a) Community Service b) Host Family service (?) of pumpkin carving!
#4. Painting is still a vice. As are dance parties. Here is our hall tradition floor finished!
#5. I think this is studying Greek.
#6. I still jump for photo's at monuments! And coerce friends to do the same!
#6. There is nothing better than Thanksgiving with Family. And the trademark Rabbit of the Arrowsmith clan.

#7. Here I feel Rachel and I have emulated what we believe is expected to occur at the Masonic Temple (of George Washington?) in Arlington, VA. Oh George, thou hast a mighty heavy head of steel. This made for a creepy and entertaining afternoon adventure.

Well that should be a rather good update of events this fall - very devoid of the thoughts that continue to wrack my brain, but I assure you all is well upstairs. Bottomline: Prayer is powerful, God is good, death is terrible, crying is sometimes necessary, creation is gorgeous, popcorn from the stove is undoubtedly better than gold, letters are bomb.com, music is essential, family is priceless, visiting friends in close-by cities is a must, cello's speak to my soul, and dance parties to Franz Ferdinand will pick up any day.

I am a loser. But I do not lose in silence. I stomp.

I can only remember losing 3 favorite items of clothing in my life (there are probably more, but not as beloved):
1. A wonderful puffy pink jacket when I was 10. I can still remember exactly where I left it, on the stacks of chairs in the fellowship hall of Camp Orkila.

2. The most versatile layer you could ever own - the Black North Face vest, newly purchased and somehow easily misplaced. I probably had it for a few months and then poof - gone - no idea where it decided to go, or why it decided to leave. I do believe I have documented proof of its existence somewhere ...

3. Most recently, my favorite purchase of the summer - a bright teal cardigan of perfect size, shape and color. It accompanied me to weddings, was worn perfectly with fancy shirts and simple ones, and gave me just the right amount of warmth. But in some part of the unpacking process, it lost its way and is no where to be found. I have overturned the contents of my drawers and closet, hoping beyond hopes to rejoice as the woman did who found her lost coin, but alas, my misfortune as of yet has not become a parable.

So there you have it, a simple slice of my losing capabilites. I will not waste your time on the favorite chapstick that has also disappeared.

So how do we respond to such misfortune? We mourn, we share our grief with those around us (I have not yet built up the courage to even think of replacing the cardigan). But perhaps it is also appropriate to let out some of the feelings of outrage that come in the midst of losing things, and for this, my friends, I bring you to the art of Stomp/Step. Absolutely glorious. And perhaps it was more that I was able to completely forget about my lost items, and remember that I am found, and that rhythm and motion have a way of healing all wounds.

What are you trying to prove?

Think about it. Even if your initial answer was 'no', is that truthful?

I spent some time on the subway yesterday, which of course is the prime place for people watching. So what is it about our wardrobes that we are trying to communicate to others? Is the ipod in our ears merely for our entertainment, or is it proving to people the luxuries I can afford? If I wear skinny jeans, or scarves, or many brightly colored necklaces, or shoes with my laces strategically untied, am I presenting myself or an image of something I want other people to interpret? On a somewhat related note, why do we sexualize everything?!?

What about in conversation. Everyone can smell a hypocrite a mile a way, and the Church being labeled the number one culprit in pop culture today, the odds can't be that good on a Seminary campus, especially since the stakes are a bit higher in the 'practice what you preach' category.

So who are we? What do we try to prove to other people about our identity by the things we wear, the words we say, and the people we claim to be? And how well do we know ourselves - do we listen to the pressures of society (whoever they may be) telling us who we should try to be?

Personally, I am refreshed that in my religion, in my tradition, and in my heart I have a savior who asks me to identify first in Him, and the rest will fall into place. Not easily, and not without the temptation to define who I am on my own. But at least I know that when I totally screw it up, someone already knows exactly who I am.

Truly this time, I went further up and further in!

From the outside (channeling Lennon)To the Inside!

Through the windows of the crown!

Oh yes, we made it to the top.

Statue of Liberty. I am proud because we bought our tickets in June, and now they are sold out through December. WHAT A COOL DAY. This plus Ellis Island, AND knowing that I am fully capable of riding the public transit of NYC all by myself. WITH shortcuts/express trains. Whoop whoop!

And now classes have begun, and I'm learning why co-moderating two student groups isn't always such a hot idea, but at the same time why it's kind of neat - sometimes there's overlap b/t justice and worship. Who woulda thunk it.

Amazing grace I feel you coming up slowly now ...

It's amazing what simply going to church can do. I'm not saying being a church goer is a quick fix for the problems of the world, or that a sermon will solve whatever ails you, but rather that there is something about a sanctuary and a community of believers that puts my heart at ease. I went to the 5 o'clock on Sunday, feeling all that anxiety and worry from my previous post, along with that awkward who am I going to sit with tonight? that begins in the parking lot and lasts as you pass through the double doors of the room itself. But taking my seat in a pew, on my own, there was a sense of refreshment. Singing with the congregation my mind left behind my worries, and I took some time to dwell a little longer in God's faithfulness.

I often hear the message that is so eloquently stated by Jesus in Matthew 11:28, saying:

²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I'll hear that and I'll say to myself, what a great reminder. That Jesus will give us rest. But how is that put into action in my life? How often do I choose to take up His yoke, rather than providing my own - rusty and crooked as it is? On Sunday I stood and pondered this - What does it mean for us to lean and depend on Christ? And to me, it first means that I don't depend on myself. That is a scary yet freeing thing to do. To not depend on myself - I know what I'm capable of, I know how I handle things, I know what happens when I am in control. But what growth comes out of my smothering things to make them just as I want them to be?

Now, I also know what it is to depend on God, and it has so much better and fuller of a reward than I could ever make for myself. These responsibilities and positions I'll have this year are not my obligations so much as they are my opportunities to participate in what God is already doing. What a relief. THIS I can rest in. God's kingdom in the world isn't dependent on me holding up all the corners. God is big enough to bring it all together.

Oh boy, just another day, learning from the Teacher.

I know I'm filled to be emptied again, the seed I've received I will sow

At some point, you've just have to be willing to put your money where your mouth is.

I think I come from a culture that ends up being a lot of talk. The government should work for me this way ... or ... you know what's wrong with education today ... or ... if it was me I would have ... And in reflection of my summer and my first year as a grad student, I find myself in a position much like my culture: a place of critique and ambition. Yet in total fear of how I will actually put any of it to good use. It's easy to see what's wrong with a situation when you are well outside of it's grasp. And all the arrows are pointing at how it can be made better. But it gets a little scary when it turns out the arrows are also pointing at you to be a part of the change you desire.

I have all these brimming hopes to bring it all together at Seminary. So often, we as people, complain about community, during a move or a new environment - I didn't feel welcome, I couldn't be myself, no one was friendly - but how much of that is because of our attitude? First off, in new places we all desire to be liked, and not rejected. So step one? Like others, and don't reject them. Secondly, I so desire to have real conversations about faith and what it means to us, and what it is we actually believe. Not about doctrine really, or about which theologian said what, but a real tell all of why they are here. What is your 'call'? What is it about Jesus that brought you to this point? Step two sounds a little trickier, and seems to be a bit of a risk.

So to actually enter into these conversations - am I just a lot of talk? In the end will I put my money where my mouth is and let the gospel come tumbling out? I'm not so confident in myself, but I trust that the Holy Spirit will ensure that it happens.

Thoughts while away from blogging but amidst much travel.

1. Rumble strips are a great idea, and are also a great way to wake students up for lunch without having to yell.

2. Why do we say things like, 'have a good flight!'? Do I have some sort of mystic control over the possible babies, turbulence, and airplane food (or lack there of) that my friend could encounter on her flight across the country? I suppose I do subscribe to the notion that if you go in with a good attitude you'll have a better time, but then should I shout instead, 'think good thoughts while on the plane!' or 'keep a smile on your face, even if your chair doesn't recline and your neighbors took all the elbow space!' ...

3. Is Satan real. I am re-reading The Screwtape Letters and am usually with C.S. Lewis 100%, so I think you know what my answer on the topic is. I encountered many youth in my internship who do not necessarily agree with me, and say that Satan is more or less the name we give to different temptations in our lives ... that is watered down, and rather unbiblical. What do they attribute evil to, what exactly is temptation then? Then what is the Bible talking about when it mentions Satan? I think this is a direct effect of avoiding the discussion of Hell, but when did we start side-stepping such strong stuff in the church today? We're afraid of Bible thumping so we simply Bible Thumb to the pages we approve of?

4. Upon returning from The Great Escape, a Jr. High week-long camp experience at a college campus, I have a few observations:
a) Shaving cream up the nose is absolutely TERRIBLE.
b) Chocolate milk is delicious, however you should stay away from dairy when you are susceptible to sinus infections and already have a cold.
c) I am SO frustrated when speakers continue the tradition of telling people what they should and should not do, while avoiding the question on everyone's mind, 'Why?' Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about porn (although some were actually too young to know what that is). Let's talk about body image. But let's talk about why you have value, why relationships are more than just a bodily reaction to one another, why God places restrictions on things ... I think their old enough to understand. Plus they've been asking 'why' to everything else for the past 10 years already. And I think some leaders need to hear it more than the students do!
d) I don't yet know how you present a great worship experience without also making it like a concert. This I shall continue to ponder.

5. Weddings are the best. Granted there was no dancing down the aisles, but at least there was dancing.

6. I still am trying to catch up on my sleep. And the sinus infection is now faced with a new competitor: The Neti Pot. I've probably talked about it for years, how you pour it in your nose to clear you sinuses, and how I wasn't sure I'd ever bring myself to actually do it. Well friends, the deed has been done. And it felt weird. But we press on.

7. Lastly, always take someone up when they offer you the use of their swimming pool.

Sleeping is a privilege, not a right.

If there is anything that summer youth ministry internship will teach you, it is that very fact. You wake up earlier than everyone for breakfast or meetings, and you tell people 'shhh' until the cows come home, for they do enjoy their pillow talk. But most of all, someone has to stay up on the all-nighter to make sure couples don't sneak off, or overdose on oreos. Thus, my friday evening.

Last week I had the privilege of experiencing Montreat, North Carolina. A place I had only heard about from friends and professors, that when mentioned would bring a joyous glaze to the face of the speaker. Needless to say I had some rather high expectations on my way there (which was about an 11 hr van ride, so I had a lot of time to think about those expectations). On reaching the beloved mecca of the PCUSA, I wasn't sorely disappointed. We stayed in a nice little house, and drove in to the retreat center each day, which was sized just right, and beautifully situated among the Blue Ridge mountains. But worship? left a bit to be desired.

A Seminarian's Critique:
Montreat offers week long conferences in the summer to high school aged youth. This year's theme was 'The World On Fire' - potentially a great theme, but that all depends on how you use it. Is the fire good? Is the fire bad? It was never really made clear. I believe the intention was to explore both the good and the bad attributes of fire, but the message was bottom line, confusing. The morning speaker seemed to stay on the shallower end of her messages, which also had great potential but were lacking depth. The evening pastor presented a pretty good message, once you got past his meter and cadence. But both still operated from a position that everyone in the audience has a basic understanding of the gospel, when that is not true! And reflects a great injustice of youth ministry today - we assume that any child brought up in the Christian Church knows their Bible stories and therefore knows God, the gospel, etc. But Sunday school, it seems to me, does a rather poor job of making it real. Of bringing it home. So at places like Montreat it seems essential to revisit the basics of our faith - our sinful nature, God's redemption through Christ, what that means for our lives, and not just that last part. We got into a lot of social-gospelesque messages, which I am happy to encourage, because we need to be finding ways in which to help our neighbor whether it is at home, in our nation, or across the world. But if we don't have a central focus on Christ and a better understanding of who God is in our lives, then we can easily be misled.

Overall I loved the trip, but I think that was mostly because of who I traveled with. These students are phenomenal. My co-workers, there are no words to describe how wonderful they are. And they continue to surprise me with new gifts they have to share!

And given my general unsatisfactory attitude about the speakers, I did have a seminarian nerd-out moment over one of the sermons/talks. Put these two together: The tower of Babel, and Pentecost. It will blow your mind.

Oh, and there are no pictures because I forgot my camera in Seattle ... but they mailed it to me, so here I come, Great Escape!

Thoughts while on planes or in airports.

1. Where are we all going, all of the time? That a flight home is oversold, even thought there are at least 3 other flights on this airline flying today as well as at least 4 other airplanes flying to the same destination? But really, how are so many people always in transit?

2. Why are we rewarded for frequent flyer miles? The obvious answer being the more $$ in the pockets of the airlines the better, but in this day and age post-Inconvenient Truth and amidst all our efforts for a greener world, air travel does TERRIBLE damage to the environment. But we don't really hear about it. No one is protesting it loudly, because we're all too busy planning our next journey. This is why we breathe toxins and a constant haze engulfs our cities and neighborhoods.

3. Why are plane boarding lines so different from any other line? It's true, it's like a giant merge lane. People hardly ever actually move to the back like in a proper queue. It's more of a conglomerate melding into every part of the line, and the thing is no one really minds or puts up a fuss! We all just accept it as routing. Perhaps it's the pre-assigned seating, but at the same time it's always a mad rush to get on board. "I NEED to get on there first so I can have MORE time to sit in a small confined are in which I will constantly lose my personal space for the next 5 hours." And WHO are those people who sneak on when their zone is not called and have an aisle seat? They're making it harder for everyone. And then there is the frenzy to get off the plane. Yes, let's all stand awkwardly tightly together while no one is moving because the plane just pulled into the gate. What? oh sure, I can hit 3 people trying to get my luggage out of the overhead compartment, no problem!

So what the heck, you're welcome, glad to have you with us!

I will be the first to say I am a fan of the Music Man. No surprise there. How about Field of Dreams? Phenomenal. And how about Herbert Hoover? As of yet undecided. What do these all have in common? Iowa.

I just got back from a week-long mission trip to Iowa/Illinois doing disaster relief due to the extreme flooding that occurred there last summer. The trip was with the High School group in Westfield, 76 students in all, and it was phenomenal. We split up into teams of about 4 students per leader, and headed out to individual homes to start demolishing, repairing, and rebuilding the houses and lives of the people in Gulfport, IL. I love construction, because it makes you think (measure twice, cut once) and it is instant gratification (usually, unless you measure once and cut twice ...). For instance:

The completion of a wall! What are we capable of? Anything. We sided this whole house, and none of us have done siding before. Needless to say, we are a proud team. See awesome team below.
The house was for a man named Herman, who was the most interesting man from Germany I have ever met - one child of 13, outstanding sense of humor, and at least one brother who is able to yodel in German whilst wearing Lederhosen. Fantastic. I wish I had taken a picture!

But really, I loved the whole trip. It was emotionally difficult near the end though, as the current youth pastor is leaving after this summer, so it was her last mission trip with these kids. Rough, but beautiful to see a congregation so moved to tears at the thought of her departure. Sometimes it is very healthy to cry. On the other hand, I know that for my sister or me if we cry to much we get terrible terrible headaches ...

Here's a hole-in-one.

I went with some friends to the U.S. Open last Monday during their practice rounds. I've never been a huge fan of golf, although I can appreciate the technique and skill it takes to play, and have for some reason found myself entranced watching it on tv, which in retrospect sounds rather unfathomable. Oh, but I did get hooked on Hot Shots Golf on the PSP one summer, so perhaps that explains it.

But one of the entrance requirements that Bethpage has is absolutely no cell phones. As we wandered around I kept returning to that thought - here am I in the midst of the age of technology, milling about with thousands of others - and none of us have our cell phones. How freeing that was! Overhearing businessmen (this isn't a sexist remark, it's just simply fact that my gender was outnumbered at least 4 to 1) discuss how their companies may be trying to reach them all day and they'll get nowhere, because they're actually forced to take the day off.

How attached are we to our technology? Perhaps I have my phone on me only in case of emergencies - but really I'm waiting for that text or that person to call me back about what's going on later. Maybe I take the day off, but is it really a day off if my phone is still on? It's really as if everyone's walking around with those funny child-leashes that some people think are cruelty to children, they just happen to be invisible this time.

I sometimes wonder what the total effect cell phones have on society is. Psychologically - are we worse at making decisions, because we have easy access to checking with other people first? With the iPhone and all it's upgrades, do we rely too heavily on technology for all our needs? With GPS, do we have any idea where we are anymore? I'm thoroughly convinced GPS makes people stupider - we should be able to read maps.

And lastly, I like Golf Courses (not for environmental reasons, I actually hate them for their water usage, etc., but we can get into that another time) since they are really large fields. Bethpage is huge, and as we walked from course to course, it was peaceful. Not having anyone on their cell phones (txting etc) means we actually get to talk with each other (what a delight!). It's a beautiful park, and how much time do we spend in parks these days? Go out and enjoy those trees. I don't care if it's raining, sometimes that makes it more special.

P.S. I LOVE my host family. We just spent some time competitively hula-hooping in the rain. Excellent.